13 Most common mistakes people make in a relationship.

  1. Poor communication
  • Not listening enough
  • Not talking enough
  • Talking too much (Nagging)
  • Talking to the wrong people
  • Telling lies
  • Talking at the wrong time
  • Unclear and unspoken expectations – expecting understanding without communication
  • Interrupting each other during conversations (especially arguments)
  • Yelling
  • Not keeping an open mind to see the other person’s point of view
  • Ignoring the basic courtesy of “Please, Thank You, and I’m Sorry”.
  1. Sex
  • When to do it – finding the best time
  • Arguing about how often it is done – daily? Once a week? Twice a month?
  • Who initiates sex and makes the first move? Why is it always me?
  • Where to do it – must it be in the bedroom? Can’t we get crazy?
  • Scheduling specific times for sex or doing it spontaneously
  • Dealing with claims of “tiredness” – both real and false claims.
  1. Money
  • Not talking about money
  • Lying about your financial status
  • Debt – credit cards, student loans, car payments, etc.
  • Not earning enough money (wages & salary)
  • One partner refuses to work
  1. Lack of conflict resolution
  • Avoiding confrontation
  • Not being able to talk things over
  • Using blanket statements like “You always do this, You never do that, etc.”
  • Allowing problems to pile up before facing them
  • Seeing disagreements as a personal attack
  • Withdrawing & going blank on your partner – the silent treatment
  • Ego – not being willing to make the first move – always waiting for the other partner to apologize first
  • Not focusing on the issue at hand – bringing up past quarrels and arguing about them today instead of the current problem
  1. Forgetting the romance and intimacy
  • Not saying “I love you” – and truly mean it
  • No more holding hands & opening doors
  • No more intimate and heart-to-heart sweet, midnight talks
  • No more doing stuff together (cooking, walking, playing games, etc.)
  • No more gifts and surprises
  • No more massaging her feet
  • No more small touches & hugs here are there
  1. Infidelity
  • Cheating doesn’t need any further explanation.
  1. Kids
  • Not planning for the arrival of kids
  • Not agreeing on how many kids you want
  • Not preparing for the sleepless nights
  • Not supporting each other
  • Not agreeing on how best to discipline the kids
  1. Social media
  • Posting every private detail of your life online
  • Fighting with your partner over comments, likes, and follows
  • Bashing your ex online
  • Stalking your partner via their online pages and profiles
  1. Being too busy for each other
  • Not making any time to spend together
  • When you finally get time together, you’re looking at your phone rather than being lost in your partner’s warm embrace
  • Not paying attention to your job & career choices when you have a decision to make – thereby choosing jobs that suck life out of your relationship
  1. Lack of investment in the relationship
  • Not caring deeply enough for your partner
  • Not giving your all – always wanting to balance everything at 50-50
  • Thinking that your relationship will just get better on its own without you working for it
  • Not creating enough time for your partner
  • Hiding your emotions as a way to keep yourself from getting hurt
  1. Lack of respect
  • Becoming so used to your partner that you treat them without respect
  • Not being polite and friendly to them
  • Talking badly about your partner behind their back
  • Telling your intimate problems to friends and family.
  • Not paying attention to their feelings – or dismissing such feelings as unimportant
  1. Not breaking away from negative relationships
  • Committing too quickly – have sex at the first opportunity, make promises to be together “forever”, and introduce each other to their families.
  • Trying to change someone who is obviously not ready to be with you
  • Thinking you can’t leave them ‘cos you feel that no one else will love you as much
  • Recognizing red flags but not running away immediately
  • Making excuses for their bad treatment of you
  • Not investing in yourself to become the kind of person you’re looking for
  1. Lack of forgiveness
  • Not being willing to forgive and let go
  • Always bringing up a past hurt – talking about it again & again
  • Blaming your partner for a genuine mistake
  • Developing insecurity as a result of past hurt

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