No matter how beautiful your relationship is, there are times you’ll disagree with your partner. This is not unique to your intimate relationship or marriage – it applies to all human relationships.
As a matter of fact, we disagree with other people almost on a daily basis. Whether it’s a colleague at work, or someone at the shopping mall, there’s always someone to disagree with.
Ironically, and unfortunately, we know how to handle disagreements with other people better than we handle the disagreements with our partner. But it shouldn’t be that way.
Our intimate relationship sets the tone for all the other relationships we have with people. If we’re not happy in our relationship, everything else suffers.
5 reasons why we have conflicts in our relationship
- Different backgrounds: You and your partner have entirely different backgrounds – childhood, training, experiences, and beliefs. The way you react to certain situations will be different from your partner’s reaction to the exact same situations. Even though this is obvious, you’ll often forget it in the heat of an argument – and you’ll wonder why they just can’t see things from your own point of view.
- Ego: People don’t like being wrong. As a matter of fact, we all have a deep need to feel validated and to have our opinions respected. Whenever there’s a misunderstanding between people in a relationship, each party wants to be correct – that’s just how life is.
- Poor communication: Many conflicts would have been avoided only if there was better communication between the partners. A lot of times, people fight simply because they were not properly understood…or they spoke in a tone that suggested something they didn’t really mean.
- Difference in needs, interests, and concerns: Because your needs and interests are different from those of your partner, what you consider as very important may not really have any significance to your partner. This difference can lead to endless arguments and fights.
- Unclear/unspoken expectations: Have you ever been in a situation where you just thought that your partner should know what you need even if you don’t tell them? We do this all the time. When you don’t clearly communicate your expectations, conflicts are bound to occur.
3 simple ways to resolve conflicts in your relationship
- Communicate better: This is the 1 most important tool you need to improve your relationship today. With better communication, you’ll be able to understand each other’s point of view…and respond accordingly. (there’ll be other posts to teach us how to improve our communication.
- Resolve quickly: Whenever there’s a misunderstanding with your partner, do your best to resolve it as soon as possible. The longer you wait before talking about it, the more difficult it becomes to actually do it. As a guide, don’t ever go to bed at night without solving the problem.
- And speaking about bed… Resolve your conflicts in bed – both naked. This is not about make-up sex without talking about the problem. Instead, what this does for you is that it takes away the bitterness and tension. When you’re lying naked in bed, holding each other and talking gently, you’re less likely to throw objects at each other, lol. What we’ve observed is that this method also helps couples resolve problems with their sexual intimacy, not just conflicts. Don’t get any ideas though, I didn’t say anything!!!
NOTE: This is part 1 of posts on resolving conflicts. Watch out for other parts so that you’ll learn more tips and ideas for a peaceful relationship. Wishing you a wonderful relationship filled with lots of love, trust, fun, and happiness. (and sex too!)